


Stupid Neighborhood kids

by Redpipcleaners



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-14 19:08:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29423577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redpipcleaners/pseuds/Redpipcleaners
Summary: Eren moves back to Shiganshina for college after a gap year. After he turned up it seems like the neighborhood shenanigans rose to 100. From crazy kids to a man and his groupies, just about everything happens here!
Relationships: Sasha Blouse/Niccolo
Kudos: 7





	1. Let him in

**Author's Note:**

> Two people run this account and we're bad at things. We hope you like our bullshit.  
> Also we're black and use AAVE with the characters at times, we'll define lesser known sayings in case our readers don't understand.
> 
> Thanks 💙

Spring had been warm for a while now, but suddenly, just out of nowhere the earth decided that it was time for snow. Twenty-four inches of snow just plopped out of the sky overnight, so not only was school for the kids cancelled, so were the college classes and work for the day due to the weather.  
Currently Armin was taking a break from studying and was drinking hot chocolate with Mikasa as they looked out the window as snow still fell from the sky as the neighborhood kids played outside.

"Uh Mikasa, Falco just fell into the snow, should we go check on him?" He asked with concern.  
Mikasa waved a hand at him. "Nah, he's fine. See, Gabi's getting him out. Nevermind she fell too."  
They watched as finally, the poor kids were rescued by Reiner and Colt.

"Dessert and a show." Mikasa said dryly, sipping up the last of her drink.  
Armin elbowed her, "That's mean Mikasa."  
Mikasa rolled her eyes with a small smile. "To you. I think it was hilarious." Armin shook his head at her. 

Mikasa took the dishes for washing not long after this. Since it had gotten dark outside, Armin decided to head upstairs to get ready for bed. He stretched and walked past the back door and thought he saw something strange. A man?  
He did a double take, looking back at the window.

"Aw hell no."

Armin ran to the kitchen to get Mikasa, there was definitely a man out there on the back porch and he looked straight at him.  
"Mikasa!" He said, grabbing her by her sleeve. "We gotta get out here, there's a whole man on our back porch!" He yelled, very clearly panicked.

"You said there's a man out there?" Mikasa asked.

"Yes! He was looking in our window! Armin exclaimed.  
Mikasa pulled the biggest knife from their knife block and started towards the back door.

"Mikasa? What are you doing?" Armin asked fearfully.  
"Armin, call the police. I'm gonna chase him off." She said.  
"But-"

"Just do it!" She commanded.  
Armin grabbed his phone and dialed 911 quickly while Mikasa ran to the door.  
Armin peeked through the blinds, watching in worry as he spoke to the operator.

Mikasa was fully prepared to defend herself and Armin from this threatening figure. She turned on the porch light and unlocked the door quickly, pushing it open. She kept the knife at her side and put on her bravest face.

"Get the hell off of my porch now- huh?" Her words lost fury as soon as she saw his face.  
Eren looked at her with fear in his big green eyes and his hands up in the air.  
"Woah, why do you have a knife Mika?" He said nervously.  
Mikasa set the knife down.

"Why the hell wouldn't I have one? Armin and I thought you were some random dude!" She shouted. She looked over him. He was in a thin black jacket with a loose green shirt, black jeans, and black forces and was covered in snow and water.  
She took a deep breath, calming herself down from the scare she just got. "Why are you here?" She asked him.  
He shrugged. "Got cold. Sorry about all that, I wasn't sure if I had the right place." He muttered.

"That's why you knock EREN!" She fussed.  
"My bad Miks." He apologized.  
Armin came around the corner, still on the phone with 911. "Nevermind, false alarm. It's somebody we know. Sorry to waste your time." He said quickly before hanging up.  
"Mikasa let him in already, he looks like he's freezing!" He said.  
Mikasa rolled her eyes, "Fine, come in." She said, turning away, "And don't forget to take your shoes off." She reminded him.  
Eren pulled off his shoes and his backpack. "Do y'all have a space heater, I'm real cold." He asked.  
"You should take a shower first and change out of those wet clothes." Mikasa said firmly.  
"Okay, I'll do that. Where's your shower?" He asked.  
"Upstairs, second door on the left." Armin answered.  
"Thanks man." Eren walked upstairs, taking his hair out of his ponytail and heading towards the bathroom.

Mikasa turned to Armin with a look between shock and anger on her face.  
"What the hell is he doing here?" She whisper-yelled to him.  
"I don't know! Did you ask him?" Armin replied.  
"His bum ass said he got cold. As if that's a reason to travel two hours into our backyard!" She said, throwing her hands up in the air.

"I can't with him. I guess we'll just ask him when he gets back down here." Armin said with his head hanging and his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose.  
"He better hurry up, I can't have him using up all the hot water." Mikasa said.

Eren took a thirty minute shower and still didn't look a damn bit cleaner. He looked warm at least.  
"Guys, what's all the staring for?" He asked, looking a little concerned.  
"We need to know why you're back here. You were on a whole other part of Paradis before." Mikasa said.  
"And you didn't say anything about coming here!" Armin added.  
Eren looked around the house, touching on stuff that wasn't his. "Yeah I did, I sent a letter." He said.  
"A letter?" Armin said blankly.  
"It might have gone to the wrong address or something since it didn't reach ya'll then." He said.  
"Wait then who did it go t-"  
"That's not important right now Armin." Mikasa cut him off.  
"Sorry." He said.

Mikasa turned back to Eren to ask him more questions.  
"How'd you get here Eren? You don't drive." She asked.  
Eren sat down beside Armin, leaning on the back of the chair with his arms draped over it and his legs spread wide open.  
"Hitchhiking and bus riding." He said.  
"Hitchhiking? That's dangerous Eren!" Armin yelped.  
"You could've been snatched up!" Mikasa chimed in.  
Eren smirked, "But that didn't happen."  
"Ugh…" Mikasa grumbled.  
"So why'd you come out this way?" Armin asked, trying to ignore Eren's blatant disregard for his safety.  
"You didn't get that either?" He asked.  
"Nope, we didn't get anything about you coming here." Mikasa said.  
"Maybe I threw it away or something." Armin said.  
Eren rolled his eyes. "Since the postal service is shit around here I guess I gotta explain this now." He said. "I'm transferring to Shiganshina University next semester and since there was a spare room here and it's close to the campus the landlord allowed me to stay as a tenant." 

"Mr. Shadis never mentioned that to us." Armin said.  
Eren shrugged. "Eh. So anyway, I'm moving in. My dad's bringing the rest of my things tomorrow." He continued nonchalantly.  
He got up from his chair to head off to his new room, but before leaving he gave his friends a short side hug.  
"It's good to be back." He said.  
Mikasa and Armin sat in silence for a moment, still in disbelief about what just happened.  
"Guess we've got a new roomie now, huh?" Mikasa said, the beginning of a smile showing on her face.  
"He better pay his rent on time." Armin said.  
"My dad's covering that!" Eren yelled from stairs.  
"Until I get a proper job at least." He added quietly.  
"Let's just go to bed Armin, maybe when we wake up, this'll all be a dream." Mikasa suggested.  
"I seriously doubt that Mikasa." Armin said.  
"Shhhh, let me pretend." Mikasa stopped him, fleeing into her room.

Armin chuckled and walked into his room. They could work out the chore schedule tomorrow, but now it was time to go to sleep. An hour after he had planned to.


	2. Them bad ass little kids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The candidates and Kaya go out to have a snowball fight and got more than what they bargained for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bad ass: When talking about children, it means they're misbehaved and unruly.
> 
> "We at": Just shortening we're and using we instead.
> 
> Luh: Little, but with a southern accent
> 
> When talking in the notes, we'll use emojis to indicate who's talking. 
> 
> ❤️: I'm Red and I do most of the writing and analyzing ideas.
> 
> 🐎: I'm Pipe Cleaner (I know the emoji don't match) and I compile ideas and edit.

"Ugh, you're heavy Gabi!" Kaya complained.  
"Are you calling me fat Kaya?" Gabi joked in a fake valley girl accent.  
Kaya rolled her eyes, "Bitch maybe." She muttered.  
"Who maybe?" Gabi asked, cocking her head to the side and pitching her voice higher.  
"Nobody." Kaya said.  
"That's what I thought." Gabi said, folding her arms over her chest.  
"Gabi, can I get a turn on the sled already?" Zofia asked.  
Gabi wrinkled her nose, "Yes." Kaya said immediately.  
"What?" Gabi said.  
"I mean I'm pulling this thing, I should decide who gets it. Plus you've been on it the whole time so far." Kaya explained.  
Gabi rolled her eyes, "Fine, Go on ahead Fia." She grumbled.  
"Thanks!" Zofia said with a satisfied smile on her face.  
"I'm gonna get my sled back when we're done right?" Falco asked.  
"Yeah, sure Falco." Kaya replied with clear insincerity.  
"Guess you not getting it back Falco." Udo laughed.  
"Shut up Udo." Falco said.

It was the day after all the snow had fallen. Now it was at 28 inches where no one had moved it. Currently, the kids were out to get to the river that Colt had told them not to go to when they first set out.  
"Are you guys sure we should be doing this?" Falco said nervously, fidgeting with his hands.  
"Um yeah, or we wouldn't be coming here." Gabi said, looking at him like he was the dumbest creature in existence.  
"Well that hurt." He thought.  
"Okay…. Sure" he murmured.  
"Y'all we at the lake!" Kaya announced.  
"Finally! I'm tired of walking." Gabi said.  
The whole group turned to look at her in disbelief. "You barely walked the whole time?" Zofia pointed out.  
Gabi shrugged, "And, I'm tired of it."  
"But you suggested that we come here in the first place Gabi." Udo said.  
"Yeah duh. That doesn't mean I like coming over here. I just wanted to see what was so bad about the river." She said.  
Falco cringed. "Uh anyway, what are we gonna do now that we're here?" He asked.  
"Ion know." Gabi said.  
"Ooh! We should have a snowball fight in teams!" Zofia suggested, clapping her hands with excitement.  
"Yeah, let's do that." Udo agreed.  
"Cool. Me, Udo, and Zofia will be on one team on this side of the river and Gabi and Falco will be on the other." Kaya said.  
"No fair, I've gotta be with Falco!?" Gabi complained, then she swiftly turned to him. "No offense Falco, but you suck at sports and stuff."  
"None taken." Falco lied.

Gabi quickly crossed to the other side of the frozen river and waved to Falco.   
"Come on slowpoke! We ain't got all day!" She rushed him.  
"I'm coming, I'm coming." Falco urged her.  
He grabbed onto the snowy river bank for support and slowly put his feet down on the ice.  
"Nice I'm alive." He thought dryly. Cautiously he stepped on the ice, looking down at his feet with every step.  
"Come on! Come on!" Gabi urged him impatiently.  
"I already told you I'm coming!" Falco yelled back. Unlucky for Falco, in his irritation his already poor concentration broke. He misstepped and accidentally stamped his right foot into the ice. Even more unlucky for Falco, it started to crack.

"Oh shit." Udo whispered.  
"Uh oh." Zofia said.

The ice cracked more the longer he stood on them. "Guys, help! What do I do?" Falco cried.  
"Run!" Gabi yelled.  
"It's getting worse!" Falco said as the cracks deepened.  
"Udo, call Colt now!" Kaya commanded.   
"I'll call Reiner too!" Gabi said.  
Zofia quickly started googling how to get him off of the ice.   
"Wait don't panic!" Zofia told him.  
"Well it's too late for that!" Falco yelled, stopping in his tracks and turned towards her.  
"Falco sto-"  
Before Zofia could finish, Falco was in the water.   
"Help!" He cried, frantically paddling to try and keep his head above the water.  
"Now it's even worse!" Kaya yelled.  
"How are we gonna get him out of here?" Zofia wondered.  
Gabi was about to slide down the snow banks when someone else came into view across the river. It was worth a shot calling out to him to save her friend.

"Hey mister! You gotta help us!" She called to him.  
The man turned around slowly, he looked like he wondered why some kid was telling at him. Until he saw Falco in the water. His green eyes opened wide and he jumped down the bank and next to the river.  
"Alright kid, calm down some." He said.  
"Breathe in hooh and breathe out hah." He did a few deep breaths with Falco before he finally slowed his breathing. "Okay, now Imma need you to swim to the edge closest to the bank."  
Falco followed his instructions calmly, coming up the edge of the ice.  
"Now keep looking up, put your arms over the ice and pull yourself forward as hard as you can and kick your legs." He told him.  
Falco didn't hesitate and with all his strength attempted to pull himself up from the ice.  
The other kids cheered him on and the man watched silently as Falco slowly, but surely was able to lift himself up.  
"Yes!" Gabi cheered.  
"Alright, now roll away from the hole and I'll come get you." He said.  
Falco rolled over away from the hole onto his back. Quickly the man took off his jacket and wrapped it around Falco.   
More cautiously this time, Gabi crossed the river.  
"Falco! Falco! Are you okay?" She asked him as she slid over.  
Falco shivered, his lips chapped and pale. "I'm never coming over here with you guys again." He whispered.  
Gabi wrapped him in a tight hug and looked up. "Thank you so much. What's your name?" She asked.  
"Eren." He said.

"Falco!" Colt cried out, running towards the group with Reiner and paramedics in tow.  
"Oh shit, we're in trouble." Udo realized.  
The paramedics quickly loaded Falco onto the stretcher and Colt followed them to the ambulance.  
Reiner sighed in exasperation, "Come on, I'm gonna take you all home." He said. "And you're in big trouble luh girl." Reiner added. Gabi gulped, "Uh oh." She said.  
Reiner turned back to Eren.   
"You need a ride?" He asked.  
"Nah I'm good." Eren answered.  
Reiner nodded, "Alright, see ya 'round Eren." He walked away with the kids.  
Eren put his hands behind his head and walked off in the other direction, boy did he have a story to tell Mikasa and Armin.


	3. Neighborhood blondies

While Eren did have a story to tell them, it seems he had forgotten until the next day. Just as he was brushing through his slightly greasy hair, he remembered what had happened. Without another thought and the brush still nested in a tangle, Eren got up from the floor and bolted through the house to locate his friends. All the way through he was snickering.

Just as they were when he first got here, Armin and Mikasa were sitting in the living room watching TV and talking.  
"Guys, guys, I just remembered something! You're never gonna believe what happened yesterday!" He exclaimed in excitement, flopping down on the couch beside Armin who jumped with a yelp. "What is it Eren? You sound pretty passionate about it." Mikasa asked.

"Ok, ok, so. I was just taking a walk down by the river, and this pack of kids were messing around on the ice." Immediately, Armin looked concerned. "And get this, one of the little shits fell in!" Even though he was already cracking up while explaining, Eren totally lost it, cackling by the time he finished.

"Eren that's not funny! That poor kid could've frozen!" Armin began to lecture him. "You know how cold it is! After all when you got here-" Just then, he was interrupted but a little knock on the door.

"I'll get it." Mikasa said with a sigh as she stood from her seat and went to answer. Eren had stopped laughing so he could get an earful of the conversation.

"Hey Colt, Falco." She greeted them, turning to both of them as she said their names. "What's up?" She asked. Curious to who that was, Eren had gotten up and peeked around the corner. At the door was a kid in a bulky, brown winter coat that almost swallowed him as he looked like a baby bird with just a tuft of yellow feathers. And standing next to him was a young man with a bright smile and a sharp face. The contrasting image was almost funny to him.

"This might sound weird, but we're trying to find someone. That someone saved this little guy's life by picking him out of some freezing water and we'd like to thank 'em." The one called Colt said, clapping a hand on the short boy's back. "I'm not little." Falco protested with a pout, but he was ignored.

"Really?" Mikasa responded, raising an eyebrow. "I might know who you're looking for. Come on in, it's cold anyways." She said, stepping aside. And that was Eren's cue to sprint back to his seat.

And into the house the two blonde guests came. Falco hadn't taken his coat off unlike Colt so he still looked just as bulky as ever. Eren sat on the couch, immediately recognizing him as the kid who fell into the water. 

"That's him." Falco said, pointing towards Eren. Looks like he was recognized too. "Really?" Colt gasped, not taking another second to wait and rushing over to Eren. At the same time he ushered the small one over to the couch. "Hey! I didn't get a good look at your face, so I didn't know where to find you. Anyways, thanks a lot for getting him out of that water! That was incredible!" Colt gushed to him.

"Oh it was nothing." Eren replied nonchalantly. "Still, thanks again. I wouldn't know what to do if something happened to Falco." Colt said, glancing at the boy in question. "Thank you Mister." Falco mumbled, his face buried in the collar of his coat. Eren ruffled the kid's hair, bothering to give him a slight smile. "Yeah, yeah. Don't mention it." Then, he sat back again, eyes trained on the taller one.

"You his dad or something?" Eren asked, completely forgetting Armin was beside him until he jolted at the question he asked. But, he went right back to the show he was watching. "Oh! No, no! Falco's my little brother!" Colt exclaimed, waving his hands frantically. "Oh." Eren said, eyes wide for a second at his blunder. But he recovered quickly. "You two look like twins." He said with a little laugh.

Colt and Falco looked at each other, complete doubt on their faces, but they said nothing about it. "Are you from around here?" Eren asked. "Yeah, we're at the end of the cul de sac." Colt answered. "I bet you get a lot of people turning around in your driveway then." Eren laughed. After Colt replied, Falco decided to take a seat where Mikasa had left. The kid had the right idea, they would be chatting for a little while.

Several minutes later Falco now sat with an empty mug that held hot chocolate in his hands, staring at the TV with Armin. Mikasa was elsewhere, and Colt had wedged himself beside Eren on the other couch. The two of them were still talking.

"Are we going home yet?" Falco finally asked, cutting into their conversation with a tone of irritation. "I don't know, are we?" Colt jokes, he and Eren sharing the same smirk. Though, Falco didn't look very impressed. He scowled restlessly, slumping back into his coat. "Hey, hey, I was just kidding champ!" Colt reassured him, which caused the boy to perk up. 

With that, they stood up and were preparing to leave. "Alright, it was nice meeting you Eren! I know I said it a billion times, but thanks for your help. You know what…" Much to the horror of Falco, Colt dug around in his pockets for a scrap of paper he could jot down his number on. Thankfully, it didn't take long. "Gimme a call sometime if you wanna talk." Eren accepted it and glanced over the numbers. "Yeah, I'll do that."   
"Oh, and um, you still have a brush in your hair." Colt pointed out with a shy smile on his face.  
Eren moved his eyes trying to see where it was, "Oh wait, I can't see the top of my head. He said out loud sheepishly. He quickly pulled out the brush and put it in his pocket. Colt could help but giggle at that.  
"Colt come on! Let's go!" Falco urged, pulling him by the sleeve of his jacket.  
"Okay, okay I'm coming! Geez Falco." Colt rolled his eyes at his brother's impatience. He turned back to Eren, flashing him a friendly smile. "I'll see you around Eren." He said.  
Eren leaned against the door frame with his arms folded, smiling back. "Yeah, see ya guys." He said.  
"Yeah, bye! Let's go Colt!" Falco urged still.  
"You don't have to pull me Falco!" Colt said, snatching his sleeve back and walking away.  
Eren watched for a moment as they disappeared down the street and closed the door.  
When he turned back, Mikasa and Armin were staring at him.  
"What?" He asked.  
"Nothing." The two said in unison, quickly trying to go back to what they were doing.  
"Tsk. Okay, y'all don't have to tell me." Eren said, rolling his eyes. "I'm going back to my room." He announced.  
Maybe there was a little more to the neighborhood than just his buddies.


	4. Moving day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When texting
> 
> "-" Zeke
> 
> "°" Eren
> 
> "^" Colt

Eren woke up to the sun shining into his face the next morning. He should've closed the damn blinds.  
"Ugh." He groaned tiredly.  
His back creaked from sleeping on only blankets. His father, mother, and Zeke were supposed to be here yesterday to bring him his stuff, but they had taken longer than expected and stayed the night in a hotel.  
Luckily for Eren, he had a spare t-shirt and ratty black sweatpants just in case. He didn't think he'd actually have to wear it though.  
He looked at his phone and saw a text from Zeke.

_(Monkey man)_

-Hey stink, we're gonna be here in like forty-five minutes. Get your fat ass out of bed. 

The text had been sent ten minutes ago.  
"Damn, now I gotta get up." Eren thought.  
He texted Zeke back.

°Don't call me stink u fucking monkey. 

Quickly Eren dressed himself in his ratty clothes and remembered that he might need help with somethings. Even though his family, Mikasa, and Armin would be there already, it couldn't hurt to have an extra hand or two.

Colt was scrolling through his phone, just barely awake. He didn't have much to do today other than make breakfast and revise an essay, so he was just relaxing for now.  
Then he got a text from an unknown number.

°hey colt u up? it's eren btw.

He was expecting any texts at 9 in the morning, but he didn't mind. He opened his eyes wider to wake himself up a little more.

^Yeah, I'm up. What do you want?

Eren paused, probably trying to figure out what to say.

°i know we just met but i need some help moving in. think u could help me out?

His typing style was atrocious, but at the moment that wasn't Colt's main concern.

^I've got time today, sure. I'll have to bring Falco though, since I'm the only one home with him and it's probably too early to ask someone else to look after him.

°that's cool. 

^What time do you want us to come over?

°nine thirty

^That's a little soon, but I think we can make it over in time.

°cool, see ya later colt.

^Yeah bye.

Eren left him on read and Colt rolled out of bed to put some clothes on. He wasn't about to just show up to somebody else's place in his pajamas!

He settled on a thick black turtleneck sweater, blue jeans, and black quarter socks. He'd put on his shoes and coat when it was time to go. Right now, he had to wake up falco and make them some breakfast.   
Colt walked down the hallway to Falco's room and knocked on the door.

"Oi! Falco are you up?" He called to his brother as he knocked on the door.

Colt heard some quiet rustling and muttering and then the doorknob turning. Colt backed up a bit, and Falco peaked out of the door with his eyes still half lidded and watery.

"I am now." He said.

"Good. Get dressed Falco, we got somewhere to be." Colt instructed him.

Falco was too tired to question it at the moment. "mm. Okay." He grumbled roughly. He shut the door softly and Colt went on to make some eggs and toast.

Falco trudged downstairs not long later as Colt was scrambling the eggs.

"So where are we going?" He asked, his voice still rough from sleep.

Colt didn't turn back to look at him. "We're going to Eren's house to help him move in." He said.

"Aw. I thought it was gonna be something fun." Falco complained. "Can I just go to Gabi's house?" He asked.

"No Falco, you know the Brauns like to sleep in. Plus this gives you the chance to get to know someone new." Colt said.

Falco curled up his lip. "Or does it give you the chance to start talking to some dude?" He grumbled.

Colt frowned. "The hell does that mean, Falco?" He asked, quickly turning towards him.

Falco took a sip of juice. "Nothin'." He said.

"Yeah right." Colt said, not believing him. He set down their plates and sat across from Falco.

"I got a eggshell." Falco said.

"Just spit it out Falco." Colt said with clear exasperation.

"Ugh." Falco pulled the shell from his mouth and moved over to the toast instead.

"Relax Falco, it's just neighborly work. You do this kind of stuff all the time!" Colt said.

Falco huffed. "Fine whatever." He grumbled. Colt rolled his eyes. "I mean you don't have to work if you don't wanna." He said.

"Then I'd just be standing around bored. That's the last thing I need." Falco insisted.

Colt laughed, "Okay I gotcha. I'm sure there'll be something for you to do while we're over." He said.

"Yeah sure." Falco said, holding out his empty plate.  
Colt stood up and took both of their plates to the sink.  
"Put your coat and shoes and I'll meet ya back downstairs in a sec." Colt instructed him.

"And don't go outside without me." He said.

"Okay." Falco said from downstairs.

Colt pulled on a black jacket and shiny black snow boots.

"You ready to go Falco?" He asked as he grabbed his house keys. Falco pulled on his blue rain boots at the door. "Uh huh." 

"Okay, let's go!" Colt pulled Falco by his sleeve.  
"You don't have to pull me!" Falco complained.

It didn't take long to walk over to Eren's townhouse. Colt saw an unfamiliar car in the driveway. Someone else was probably helping him move in.

Colt knocked on the front door, almost as soon as she did, Eren opened the door.  
"Oh hey." He said, sounding surprised to see him.  
"Hi." Colt said with a shy smile.  
After that there was an awkward silence for a moment. Falco looked in between the two of them with disgust. "Um. So what are we doing?" Falco asked, breaking the silence.

"My dad's about to pull up with the rest of my stuff. It's not that much I'm just gonna tell ya where to put stuff, that's about it." Eren explained.  
"Okay, sounds good." Colt said.

"Why's it so quiet out here, by now I thought you'd be yelling to Mikasa about something stupid." Zeke came up out of nowhere from inside the house and put his arm around Eren.  
"Shut up. I stopped doing all that years ago, and Mikasa's at work anyway." Eren said, wriggling out of Zeke's grasp.

"Zeke? What are you doing here?" Colt asked.  
Zeke hadn't noticed Colt and Falco since he had just come by to pick at Eren, so he was surprised to see them.  
"Colt! Falco! Hey, it's been a while!" He gave Colt a hug and ruffled Falco's hair.  
"Aw come on Zeke, I just brushed that!" Falco yelled, putting his hair back in place.  
"My bad." Zeke said.

"Wait, you guys know each other?" Eren asked.  
"Yeah! Zeke was a student teacher at our school." Colt said.  
"He's my baseball coach." Falco said, still fixing his messy hair.  
"How do you know Eren, Zeke?" Colt asked.  
Zeke put Eren in a headlock and gave him a noogie.  
"Zeke! What the hell?" Eren yelped.  
"This dummy here's my little brother." Zeke said.

"Wow, you guys don't look alike at all." Falco commented.  
Colt thumped him in the arm.  
"Ow!" Falco said.  
"He took after his mom." Zeke said.  
"So how come we never met before?" Colt asked.

"Zeke and I didn't grow up together. He just came to our dad's place in the summer." Eren said.  
"Man. Carla made the best Lemonade." Zeke reminisced.  
"We always had to make sure you didn't drink all of it. I barely got any when you were there." Eren complained.  
"That sounds like a personal problem." Zeke said nonchalantly. In response to that, Eren grumbled.

"Are we going to actually work now?" Falco piped up, tired of hearing the chatter. "Fix your face." Colt replied. Falco looked like he was going to roll his eyes, but decided he wasn't dying that morning. 

Right in that moment, fixing any sort of tension that could come, Grisha's car rolled up around the corner. "Looks like my stuff's here." Eren said. Though it was Grisha and Carla that stepped out of the car. "And them."

Carla ran towards him, holding her dress in her fist. "My baby!" She called out to him.  
Eren squinted, crunched up his face, and braced himself for impact. Carla tackled him like a linebacker and spun him around. "Oh I missed you so much!" She gushed.

"Ma! It's only been a couple days." He groaned.  
"I know, but I still miss you." She said.  
Eren sucked his teeth. "Yeah, I know." He put his arm around her and Grisha came up to them.  
"Finally, took ya long enough old man." Eren called to him.

"Don't even start Eren." He gave him a quick hug and turned his attention to Zeke.

"You've been good?" Grisha asked.  
"Yeah, I'm good." Zeke answered shortly.  
"Ah, come here." Grisha hugged Zeke a little longer than he had Eren, but Eren wasn't paying attention to that, he just wanted to get his things out of the U-haul.

"Come on Armin, my dad's already here!" He shouted towards the house.  
Armin came running out as he slid on his coat and ran to the truck.

"Hey Dr. Yeager!" He said as he whizzed by.  
"Hi Armin." Grisha replied.  
Colt and Falco followed Eren and Armin to the truck.  
Armin and Falco started carrying the bed frames, Eren, Colt, and Zeke lifted the mattress, and Grisha and Carla dragged the dresser inside.  
It went by relatively quickly getting things in and it was all going smoothly.

Until Colt came across a massive box labeled "Dildos" in big, messy letters scribbled like a stereotypical doctor's handwriting. He decided to let Eren get that one. 

He moved to another box which was labeled "Butt plugs." He quickly put that one down and went for another one. "Please be something normal." He thought.  
To his dismay it was labeled ball gags.

Colt completely froze up from "How many toys can one man possibly need? Is he addicted to this shit? Is this a fucking joke." Many thoughts circled through poor Colt's head. He had absolutely no idea how to get out of this.

"Oi, Zeke! Is everything in the house?" Eren asked.  
"No, there's still some stuff in the truck." Zeke replied.  
"Oh shit." Colt thought. He was about to get caught looking at Eren's boxes. Before he could flee, Eren had already stepped into the truck.

"Hey Colt is my stuff in here?" He asked.  
Colt gulped. "Just act natural." He thought.  
"Yeees!" His voice let out a horrible crack.  
Damn it that was the fucking opposite of natural!  
Colt thought in panic.

Eren raised his left eyebrow and cocked his head to the side. "Okay?" He said.  
Colt turned away from Eren and looked out of the back of the truck.

Eren paused his rummaging. "What the hell Zeke!" Eren barked.  
Zeke laughed out loud from the doorway of the house, his face turning completely.  
"I would have done more, but Carla caught me!" He said in between laughs.  
Eren shook his head. "You're childish Zeke."  
Zeke snorted.

"Oh, so that's not what's in there?" Colt asked.  
Eren frowned. "No! Maybe Zeke has this many, but not me!" He said.  
"Heeey, you don't have to sell me out." Zeke joked.  
"Ew, shut up monkey!" Eren said, throwing a shoe at Zeke.  
"Ack!" Zeke jumped away from it.  
"It's probably just my clothes and shoes." Eren said, passing Colt a box.  
"Oh okay." Colt said, feeling a little embarrassed that he assumed. 

They finally finished moving stuff into the house. By then it was 11 in the morning and everyone was sitting in the living room.  
"Colt, can I go to Gabi's house?" Falco asked.  
"Sure, go on ahead." Colt said.  
"Finally…" Falco walked across the street, and Colt watched until he was inside of the house.  
"Your brother's a real handful." Eren commented.  
"I know, I'm sorry about that." Colt said.  
"Nah don't worry about it. It's kinda funny." Eren said.  
"I'm glad you think so, cus it's way less funny when you have to live under the same roof as him." Colt replied.

Eren took a sip of milk. "I can imagine. I mean, I do have old Zeke after all."  
Zeke turned around at the mention of his name.  
"Go away Curious George." Eren said.   
Colt rolled his eyes. "Zeke's wild when he wants to be."  
"And that's basically all the time when it comes to me." Eren said.  
Colt chuckled and stood up from his seat. "I gotta go home and get some work done." He said. "It was fun talking to you and stuff."  
"Yeah, you're cool. See you 'round." Eren said casually.

Colt walked out and down the street. He could let Falco stay at the Brauns' for a little bit longer. He smiled when he thought of the day. He hoped he could get to talk to Eren more, without Falco and his attitude around.


	5. Weenie Hut Jr.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lmao it's me, Pipe Cleaner this time. I didn't write this one just edited it- Low-key surprises me that folks are reading this. But anyways, here y'all go  
> \- 🐎

On Saturday morning Falco ran out to his bike and attached his sled to the back of it. 

"Oi Falco! You ready to go?" Gabi called from across the street.

"Yeah, I'm all set." Falco confirmed.

Gabi disappeared into her house for a moment and then came back out with a big bag of snacks in her left hand.

Reiner watched from the doorway as she ran over to him. "Hey Reiner!" Falco called out to him. Reiner nodded and stuck his hand up as a short wave.

"You kids better not go to the river this time." Colt said sternly.

"Okay we won't." Gabi and Falco droned.

Colt seemed satisfied with that answer and gave Falco a quick hug. "Be safe out there kiddo." He said.

Falco rolled his eyes. "Yeah I will." He said.

"You better." Colt replied.

"Gabi! Be back by one!" Reiner called to Gabi.

"But Rei! That's only three hours!" Gabi whined.

Reiner blew her off. "Pssh! Three hours is plenty. Just come back home on time."

"Fine!" Gabi pouted and kicked a tiny pile of snow.

Falco snickered. 

"You too Falco." Colt said.

Falco's jaw dropped open. "But Colt!" He whined.

"Three hours is enough. Plus last time you went in the woods with your little friends the other day, you went and fell in the ice. You and Gabi should at least be back in the neighborhood by that time." Colt said.

Now it was Falco's turn to kick at the snow. "Fine." He muttered.

Falco and Gabi hurried into the woods to not waste anymore time.

Kaya and her parents lived behind the neighborhood in the woods. On Saturday's the kids hung out at her sister Sasha's old treehouse in her backyard and discussed their neighborly chores.

Falco usually mowed lawns, raked leaves, and shoveled snow during the year. Udo cleaned cars and windows, Kaya babysat the younger neighborhood kids, Gabi did yard work like pulling weeds and tending to plants, and Zofia tutored younger kids.

When they earned money they'd bring a quarter of it back to the club as dues. Gabi decided to do this because she was inspired by reading _The Babysitter's Club_. They used the money to buy snacks, tools, and other supplies, and also as pocket change when they went to the mall.

So basically, these kids were living it up.

Today as usual, Gabi was bringing the snacks. It was mostly junk food though.

"Hey guys!" Kaya called to them, waving from the door of the treehouse. 

"Hey!" Gabi said back. She tossed Falco the bag of snacks, and in surprise he nearly fumbled them.

"Gabi!" He whined.

"Sorry Falco!" Gabi said disingenuously. She climbed up the wooden ladder to the tree house. Falco put the snack bag in the red pail that was attached to a pulley (which was Udo's idea) and Zofia pulled it up.

"Urmph!" Falco grunted as he climbed over the top of the ladder onto the floor. Udo lent him his hand and helped him up.

"Thanks." Falco said.

"Finally, everybody's here!" Kaya said, standing at the podium. Thank God she wasn't in a gavel banging mood.

"Now come on, it's due time." She said.

Zofia passed the bag to Kaya and the kids passed it around like offerings at church. Udo, put his in with a look of pain on his face. He was always reluctant to give up money. He passed the bag back to Kaya, who passed it to Zofia who counted it.

"So while she's counting the money, let's go over what we should do today." Kaya said.

"We should order pizza!" Gabi suggested.

Kaya rolled her eyes. "Did you forget to eat again Gabi?" She asked. Gabi giggled sheepishly in response.

"Just eat some of the snacks we have, you just bought 'em in!" Kaya said.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about those!" Gabi said. She grabbed a bag of Takis and it was back to business.

"Okay, now that that's solved, anyone else got suggestions?" Kaya asked.

"You could give me my money back." Udo said.

"No Udo! Bedsides, it's the club's money now." Kaya said.

"Aw." Udo said.

"We could go down to the river." Zofia joked. Kaya sighed in exasperation. "You guys really don't take this seriously do you?" She said.

"It's kind of slow in the neighborhood right now since it's winter Kaya. The snow's melting, nobody needs yard work or that much babysitting, and the lawns don't need mowing right now." Falco spoke up. "Let's just relax and turn on _Spongebob_ or something." He suggested.

Kaya let out a deep sigh. "Fine. Zofia?"

"Yep?" Zofia popped up from counting the money 

"Can you order us some pizza?" She said.

"Yep. Just let me count up these last couple dollars and record it, and we'll be all set." Zofia replied.

"Yes! Pizza!" Gabi cheered with her mouth full of Takis.

"Ew." Falco said.

Gabi smacked him upside the head.

"Ow!" Falco yelped, rubbing the back of his head.

Gabi snickered and Kaya put her head down on the podium.

The kids set up Udo's iPad on the podium and watched spongebob while sitting on the beanbags and eating extra cheese pizza (Udo and Zofia also got mushrooms).

"Weenie Hut Juniors!" Gabi yelled loudly.

Kaya slammed her hand down on Gabi's beanbag.

"Oh my God! Stop quoting so loud!" Kaya yelled.

"Okay dang! My bad Kaya." Gabi said.

When Kaya turned around, Gabi turned to Falco and mouthed Kaya's words with a mocking face. Falco almost snorted orange juice out of his nose.

"Gabi, that's mean!" He said, still laughing.

Gabi just shrugged.

Their three hours were up quickly and the kids separated, going back to their respective homes. 

Gabi and Falco walked the bike home and talked some more. Gabi had managed to snatch a box with half a pizza in it, so they decided to go and eat it quickly at Falco's house before Kaya came after them.

"And get this, then Reiner says, You fat bitch! And Porco takes a swing at him!" Gabi gleefully recounts. Falco stared at her, horrified, but he only said "Uh huh," out of fear.

"It was so funny! You should've been there." Gabi said.

"Yeah, sure. I'm so disappointed that I missed it." Falco lied. He turned back to face the front and let Gabi chatter more. Then he stopped in his tracks, his eyes wide open.

"Hey, Falco are you listening?" Gabi paused. "Why are you looking like that?" She asked. Falco saw Eren on the porch, sitting in one of their chairs with a glass of milk in his hand and laughing about something with Colt.

_Why is he here?_ Falco thought.

He set aside his bike and walked towards them. "Hey, wait for me!" Gabi said, trailing behind him.

"Oh hey Falco." Colt said, waving hello. Eren turned towards him too and nodded.

Falco squinted at him. "Hi." He responded curtly.

Colt seemed to sense some kind of tension. "Hey buddy, why don't you go inside, I'll be there in a minute. Okay?" He said.

Falco glanced at Eren, who was still casually drinking his milk. "Okay." He said. "Come on Gabi."

Gabi followed with the pizza box and Falco quickly went in and shut the door.

"What's the matter Falco?" Gabi asked.

Falco shrugged. "Nothing much."

Gabi folded her lips into a straight line and turned away from him. "Okay." She said quietly, grabbing some pizza.

That man was bad news. Falco wasn't sure why, but he seemed like bad news, and he was gonna make sure that he knew he was onto him.


	6. Angel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayo it's Pipe Cleaner keke, I had so much fun writing a chunk of this. I hope y'all can tell when it's me writing in here.  
> -🐎
> 
> For texting.  
>  "+" Armin
> 
> "*" Dot

"You stay away from my man, you tramp!" Mrs. Dok screamed at him as she threw him out of the house. Armin sprawled out onto the snow sliding into the pavement of the walkway. 

"Marie please, don't hurt him. Take it out on me!" Nile begged.

Marie sucked her teeth and pushed him back. "Oh I will, just you wait Nile." She said, scrunching her nose and furrowing her brows in anger.

She threw Armin's coat out last into the snow. "Go on now dog. I'm not getting charged for attempted murder today. Ugh, some _Angel_ you are." She slammed the door in his face, and Armin was left alone to gather his things.

He ran to his car with tears streaming his face and his coat over him like a blanket. 

Usually he was a little bit luckier than this with angry wives. 

…Well not really.

He shifted his pink sequined mini dress to get more comfortable and backed out of the Dok's driveway.

Nile Dok had been his sugar daddy for nearly a year until now. He was surprised that they didn't get caught sooner because Nile was not discreet at all. 

At least he got the cash to pay his rent.

At the end of his street, he changed into black adidas sweatpants, a blue t-shirt, and a black coat. He vigorously wiped off his tears and make-up and looked in the mirror. He looked normal enough, just a little red in the face.

He took his phone and hid the cash in his coat and walked into the townhouse.

Since it was the middle of the night, both Eren and Mikasa were asleep as Armin expected. One of them, specifically Eren, was sprawled out on the couch. Armin took his shoes off at the door and tiptoed by so he wouldn't wake his friend.

He quickly made his way upstairs and entered his room as quietly as he entered. Armin shoved off his coat and tossed it to the floor without another glance. He flopped down on his bed, face against his pillow. It didn't take long for him to turn his head towards the wall. 

Armin's eyes began to burn again and his vision blurred with tears. "A tramp huh?" He repeated the insult to himself, following up with a beyond fake laugh. Tears flowed down Armin's face again and he couldn't bear to have himself exposed to the air in that moment. So, he buried his face again and cried into the suffocating fabric.

Before Armin knew it, it was morning. He had cried himself to sleep. Wasn't that just great. Shivering from the cold due to no blanket being on him, Armin rolled over, only to end up with Eren's hair in his face. "Oh, you're up." Eren said, scooting back off of Armin's bed. "Eren!" Armin exclaimed, sitting up. "What's wrong? Do you need anything?"

"Yeah." Eren replied, shuffling around the foot of the bed. "Some cash. You got any?" He asked. "Yeah, go look in my coat pocket." Armin answered, waving him forward without thinking about the origin of the money and laying back.

"Woah, that's a lot." Eren remarked with a whistle, picking up a stack and flipping through the bills. Just then, it hit Armin where that came from. 

"Wait! Wait! Nevermind! That's off limits! Go ask Mikasa!" He said frantically, causing Eren to stare at him like a deer in headlights. "Alright, alright." His friend said, setting the bills down on Armin's coat and leaving the room.

Armin sat up with his head in his hands. God I'm such an idiot. _What if he suspects me of doing something bad now?_ He thought. The last thing he wanted and needed was for Eren of all people to find out what he was doing.

Speaking of that, wouldn't he need to find someone new? Now that Armin was out of what he called his job, what would he do now?

He knew exactly what he had to do next.

He opened up his laptop and turned to incognito mode.

"Hello again Gimme some sugar dot com." He muttered as he typed.

Gimmesomesugar.com is a relatively secret website where people post pictures of themselves and rich people pay them for more pictures and usually sex. He hated it, but money is money. 

He reactivated his old profile and deleted his old pics. He'd have to take new ones since it had been about a year and he'd updated his wardrobe and himself a little too. 

Plus the old ones were making him cringe.

He had been sugaring for almost three years now since he had started college. Being from a poor family and on a scholarship, there wasn't much money to go around for him. Sugaring wasn't his first thought, he had worked fast food, but the conditions and pay were so terrible that he put in his two weeks after only four months and Mikasa covered most of the rent that he couldn't pay.

He worked retail next, but he was awkward and there were too many grouchy and ungrateful people for him to handle, so he quit after two months. By then, Mikasa was becoming upset with him and gave him an ultimatum to get a job in a month. He agreed and panicked for about two days before hearing about a site on instagram. He gave it a try and almost immediately got someone calling for him.

It wasn't Nile yet, but a man called Lord Wald who was a descendent of some rich dude from another country. 

He was nice to him, but demanded a lot of Armin's time and had some…. weird kinks. Armin hated it so much that he realized that he had to set ground rules.

He wasn't doing drugs, no inflicting wounds, there was also no way he was going under any knife. And inspired by time with the town's mayor himself, Willy Tybur, Armin was not getting involved with anyone's family.

Anyways, he had just gotten done uploading the new pictures to his profile. Boy were those an improvement. It didn't take all but a few seconds for him to get a little notification.

"That was fast..." Armin said to himself, worried. But that didn't stop him from clicking it.

A man called Dot Pixis. He was bald and clearly elderly, somewhere between the ages of 60 and 70.

Probably had some kind of wealth to his name.

*You're Angel, right?

Angel Titania was Armin's Alias while he did this. He wasn't really comfortable using his real name, that could cause problems for him.

+That's me, what's going on Mr. Pixis?

*Please, just call me Dot. I just wanna talk, that's it. 🙂

Armin didn't believe that for a second, but he'd play along.

+Okay then, Dot.

+You got anything you wanna ask me?

Armin waited for a moment. Dot must have been thinking of a question to ask him.

*What did you eat tonight?

_Oh god please don't be another freak, I can't take another freak!_

+Um nothing yet. Why?

Dot paused and sent a kind of long message about a minute later.

*That's not good Angel! You should take care of yourself, especially with how young you are. Not taking care of yourself could really hurt you when you become an old man like me. 😤

Armin chuckled. _What's this guy's aim?_ He thought.

Armin texted back.

+Sorry, I know. I just had a kinda rough time last night, so I wasn't very concerned about that.

*Oh, sorry about that. How about I take my leave for now and message you later this week?

Armin was confused, most men on this app rushed him to do things.

+Sure, that'd be nice. Thanks.

*No problem Angel. 😊

Armin closed his laptop, changed into his usual pajamas and walked downstairs. 

"Guess I should go eat." He muttered.


End file.
